Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

What's up? The sky.

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

So anyways, can I have the last comment or not?

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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