if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

who smells? •Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Susie has Autism

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

21

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Flab

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops