Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Womens' rights.

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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