Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

Why did Kanye West hit Rihanna? He didn't. It was Chris Brown you dumb ****

silly rabbit, rape is for babies

One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

Obama-Care

a blond applies to college she gets in because she did well in highschool

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

42

What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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