I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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Hellen Keller

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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A man walks into a bar.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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My mom just died....

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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