Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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World Peace

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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69

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Your mother

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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minced oaths

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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