The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +46

why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +42

2 black guys and a Mexican are in the backseat of a car. Who's driving. The cops

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops