Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

What is brown and sticky?

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

oh hiya come in

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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