Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

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So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

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Knock, Knock Who's There. You. You who. You are you. WTF!

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

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What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of protesthic arms which changed his life forever

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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The WNBA.

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Who has downs this joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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