What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Google Doodles

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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