What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Lil' Wayne

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Sarah Palin is President

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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What abou three times

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BWAT

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Paul Dylan King!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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