Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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Women's football

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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