What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Amputations.

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Hellen Keller

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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