Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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Looks through the peephole.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Yeah, totally.

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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