When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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who farted? umm........that guy.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What's funny about 9/11? All of it.

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-What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. _________________________________________________________________ -What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't use a pitch fork to move my Lamborghini.

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What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

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A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

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What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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What do you call an angry black man? Angry.

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Canada's army

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from sky-scraper Q:he dies

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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