Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops