Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

stop it ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do kallum and joel have in common they both work at club getaway

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Penis!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops