Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Holocaust jokes aren't funny and frankly, I do not see why people think they are so funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

thumb_up thumb_down +57

. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops