omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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penis

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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