My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Susie has Autism

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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robin, get in the car.

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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Kah-________-

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops