Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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Rebecca Black

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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