What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Black Veil Brides.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops