Unflushed Shit...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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Gestapo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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*you're

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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ugh good riddance

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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