Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Canada

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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