What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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Boob Top view B Front view oo Side view b

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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