What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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What did you say? I don't know.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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Womens' rights.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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World Peace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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