Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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Don't think of granny porn

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What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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