whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Homework.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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A seal walks into a club.

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What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Will gropes Ebola victims

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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