A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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cms.......?????

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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