How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops