What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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Hellen Keller

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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