Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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You're mom is so black... that she is most likely of African Descent

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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A fat boy walked into a party

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops