A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

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roses are red violets are blue i hate black people

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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a black father

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AHHHHHHH OMGOMG OMG I SAY TO MY MUM SHE RUNS INTO THE ROOM SCREEMING AND SAYS WHAT HAPPEND I SAY ....................... i forgot now (k.c)

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Canida

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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What's worse than getting a detention? Slavery...just kidding that was a good thing!

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What do you call a special Ed walrus? Anorexic pony ???? Discovering that a convicted sex offenderi is living nearby stirs up a range of feelings: fear, anger, insecurity and anxiety. There are many things you can do to make the situation more manageable - and channel these emotions into actions that address situations that put children most at risk for sexual harm. Learn how to identify the most common threats and concerns. Then find out the best ways you can join with others to keep everyone safe. Take action! Learn how to keep children safe Get the FAQs about the sex offender registryi Download our Tip Sheet:  Concerned about Sex Offenders in Your Neighborhood?

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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I'm gay.

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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Why is a black man fat? Because he eats a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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