silly rabbit, rape is for babies

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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Why did the boy die at his Halloween party? He was the victim of a drive-by.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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imadewords

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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Doctor, doctor! I think I'm a pair of curtains... Well don't worry, you've come to the right place. We'll get you the help you need.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

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Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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