guy walks into a bar a metal bar ouch

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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Women's football

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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