What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's worse then being dumped? NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man swim across the lake? He didnt. He drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

yo momma is so tall shes tall

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

thumb_up thumb_down -23

guy walks into a bar a metal bar ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You might be a redneck if you are a an uneducated white farm laborer from the south.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops