What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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suck my dick.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Pickles

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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World Peace

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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