Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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