Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Blonde Entrepeneurs

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Baseball

thumb_up thumb_down +25

69

thumb_up thumb_down +25

who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops