So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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Susie has Autism

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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