If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Homework.

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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stuff and dogs {()}

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops