How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

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Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

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42

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This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

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What is worse

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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