- Anti Joke

Blarg

Priority parking for hybrid cars

What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

your moms so fat when she sat on your ipod it turned into an ipad

A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? "Dam."

Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

Rock mattress.

What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

What flys? A fly

What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

A horse walks into a bar. Animal control them came and got him out, apologizing for the matter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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