What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

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Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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How do you get a clown off a swing Hit it with an axe.

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Boobs are nasty!

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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The WNBA.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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2 black guys and a Mexican are in the backseat of a car. Who's driving. The cops

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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