Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Who's there My dick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

yo mamas so fat, she started working out

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Black Man walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

obama is a good president

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you say to Michael and Justin? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops