Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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Penis jokes.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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Tennesse

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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