Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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Jewish People

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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Your mom

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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whats better than 24................. 25

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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