What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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