Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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A seal walks into a club.

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Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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