What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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whats better than 24................. 25

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Your mom

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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