a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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Star Wars

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potato farming

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

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What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

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A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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Hello

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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