Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

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Jewish People

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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This is you cat This is just cat This is wasted cat This is your cat This is time cat This is reading cat This is this cat Now read the third word of every sentance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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