There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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what happened to walt disney when he died? nothing he was frozen and has been for many years now

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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