Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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josh roberts you speccy cuunt

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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