- Anti Joke

Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

DOWN

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

Compton

Obama-Care

Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

So a baby seal walks into a club

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

The glass is half an hour.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

I only like NY as a friend.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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