What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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Your mom

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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whats better than 24................. 25

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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